Final Post

This will be my last blog entry here. I will ‘close’ this blog and only post on Eli’s blog from now on. That blog address is: www.eli-eli-oh.blogspot.com So please check on us there and see what’s going on!

I have much gratitude for my parents and the way they raised me. I sometimes feel cheated that Daddy won’t be here in person to watch as I grow in my ‘Mommy’ role or as Eli grows up. But, I am thankful for the time we did have with Daddy. I just miss him.

Gratitude

To be grateful is to

Recognize the Love of

God in everything

He has given us –

And He has given us

Everything.

Every breath we draw

Is a gift of His love,

Every moment of existence

Is a grace,

For it brings with it

Immense graces from Him.

Gratitude therefore

Takes nothing for granted,

Is never unresponsive,

Is constantly awakening

To a new wonder and

To praise of the

Goodness of God.

For the grateful person

Knows that God is good,

Not by hearsay

But by experience.

And that is what makes

all the difference.

By Thomas Merton

Friends, please love your family and tell them often that you feel that way. Life is too short to hold grudges and let past faults cause you anger. Blessings to all of you and thank you for reading this blog and supporting us on our journey. We have needed your kind words and actions to help carry us to this point. Please don’t hesitate to check and see how we are doing.

Laying of the Wreath

Each year at the DFW Veterans' Cemetary, there is a ceremony where wreaths are put on graves of the fallen.  We didn't attend last year but we went this year with some dear friends of my parents.  Mom and I did well - we didn't cry until we got home which is definitely an accomplishment!  Maybe it was because our friends were keeping us laughing!  Mr. Vessel's sense of humor is like my dad's.  He says some of the funniest things and even seemed to appreciate it when I told him his comment sounded like something Daddy would say!

The color guard played an active part of posting colors and saluting as each wreath for each service was brought forward and placed.

The bagpiper MUST have been colder than the rest of us!  But he did a great job and was a nice addition to the service.

This is the wreath for the Army - where Daddy served.

Volunteers put wreaths on many graves throughout the cemetary. 

I'm going to close out this blog at the end of the year - today - and publish it as a hardback book.  That way, we'll have a permanent document to read and remember and Eli can read it when he gets older and begins to ask questions about Grandad.  One more post will occur this afternoon before I send the blogs to BLURB.  Thanks for reading.

Time Passes

We've made it through another holiday season - with the exception of New Year's - without Daddy.  And, as time has passed, I feel less sad, at times for missing Daddy.  It isn't, of course, the life I thought we'd have at this point but it is what it is.  That being said, Mom is coping well - sometimes better than the rest of us!

I sometimes wish my present self could go back in time to my past self and give myself a big hug and tell her things will be okay.  Because, even though it's different without Daddy, it's okay.  Kinda like a new normal?

Anniversary, part 2

We visited Daddy's stone and put some more flowers in the grass.  The cemetary has rules about when you can put things on the graves and then stuff is picked up on weird intervals.

It was very sad.  We had a difficult time.  I know, in my heart, that Daddy isn't there and I know he doesn't need me to visit him there.  I talk to him all the time.  But, something about seeing his name on that stone...yuck!!

Eli said last week that when he's a pilot, he'd like to fly his airplane up to Heaven to see Grandad.  How sweet is my boy?

How many pictures of the cemetary do you need, though, right?

Miss you Daddy!!

A Year Anniversary

We made it past the summer and into the beginning of the school year.  We had some difficult times without Daddy, of course.  More on that in another post.

Instead of staying home on the anniversary of Daddy's death, we decided to go to the Mesquite Rodeo.  I know that Daddy would have loved taking Eli to the rodeo for the first time.  (We hadn't been since Eli was 6 weeks old when Grandpa Jim was here...)

Anyway, here are a couple of pics from our night there.

47 years ago tomorrow

I know the blog title tells you that 47 years ago tomorrow...but I don't have a scanned picture of their wedding day.  So, here's one of the earliest pics I have of our little family.  Taken in 1972, this is one of the first family portraits of us.  Don't you love my white boots and everyone's BIG hair?

So, back to 47 years ago tomorrow...my parents were preparing for their wedding.  Yes, that's right - They got married on a holiday weekend.  July 6, 1963 and it was a great day - I wasn't there, but those that were tell some great stories.  Apparently, Phoeniz, Arizona was very HOT that day/weekend!

As we remember the great father, husband, brother, son we had in my dad, we also remember what a great example my parents showed us of loving each other when times get tough and making good decisions for your kids.  Thanks to both of you for being such awesome role models!  I also want you to know that you were/are great grandparents!  Eli is so lucky!

Relay for Life

** This post can also be found on Eli's blog **

Last night was the Relay for Life in McKinney. Mom and I joined the team with my school and raised some money for cancer research. Thanks to all of you who sent money in memory of Dad for this event. We appreciate you!

We took Eli with us with the plan that Husband would come get him to take him home when he got tired. He had so much fun! He got to sit in a helicopter (so did Grandma and I), play catch with my principal, run around with some of the other teachers' kids, walk with us on the track, dance to the music and see lots of people he hasn't seen in awhile.
For Mom and I, it was a bittersweet night. We were both okay, for the most part, and didn't get too weepy with missing Daddy. But, there were a couple of times that we were both pretty sad and teary - during opening ceremonies when they were announcing all the survivor's names and also when some of the music spoke to us very clearly. We did better than I thought we would, though, seeing as how it was not too long ago (really) when Daddy died.

Eli made it to just past 9 when he was asking to be carried or just sit down. So, we called Husband and he came over. The pic below was taken while we were waiting for Husband. Eli wanted to sit in the grass to wait. He was so sweet to snuggle with Grandma! And, Friday morning, he woke up asking for her! Eli loves his Grandma! (And so do I!)
After the boys left, we continued our walk for cancer, visited with more friends, had a hot dog, and registered for a cancer prevention research project before we decided to head home. There were threats of storms but I'm not sure if any showed up...
                                                           Praying for a cure for cancer.

Valentine's Day

This year, being Mom's first without Daddy, I wanted to her to have a nice day.  Her friends had made plans with her for the evening, but we were able to have her over for lunch. 

Husband was our chef for the day.  He made a wonderful meal and Mom was able to sit next to her special Valentine, Eli.

I made her a new Valentine quilty:  complete with applique's of Eli's hands and an inspiring quote.

Love you, Mom!  Hope you had an excellent day!

Snow!

We had record-breaking snowfall this month! We had over 12 inches of snow fall in the Dallas area – it’s the most that has fallen in over 40 years. We missed school on one day but we had SO MUCH FUN!!

Mom and one of her friends made this LOVE-ly snowlady at her house and we had to come over and see her! Then, Eli decided to make some repairs and shovel the walk! This is the most snow that shovel has see since my parents and brother lived in Wisconsin 40 years ago!

When we got home, some neighbor-friends came over to help us with our snowman. They had been out of school all day and were able to play in it ALL DAY - but we just got to watch it through the windows! So, here's Eli with the snowman in process and then after it was done. I know he's missing some parts - but Eli's only two...

What Would Daddy Say?

Often, I find myself driving down the street and I get a strong desire to call Daddy.  I've always been able to call him with the silliest or serious of topics.  I always knew he would be available for me.

Well, maybe he wasn't available during his daily lunch/nap (from 12-1 pm), but at any other time, he was available to me/us.  And, he always had a good perspective on my issues.  I really miss that.

Sometimes, he'd tell me a story about some politician, weather or news story he found interesting.  Or, he would tell me what song he sang to Eli or some other cute thing that Eli had done.  I really miss that.

I miss being able to call him and hear his voice, his laugh.  I miss hearing his advice.  I just miss him.

Sorry for the sadness.  I'm missing him today.

Book dedication

My Aunt Vivian (the wonderful wife of my Uncle Hank) passed away in October.  Mom was able to go spend some time with Hank and some of the other family.

I was able to dedicate a book at my school library in her name.  The book I chose was "Quack, Duck, Quack" which is mostly out of print.  But it's about a little duck who gets some help from her beloved aunt.

Love you, Aunt Vivian!

Christmas 2009

Excuse the tardiness of this entry. Really, Christmas was over 3 months ago…hardly seems like it, though!


We had a nice holiday but it was quieter than in the past. It was hard to ‘get into the spirit’ but for our boy, we pulled it off. (I think?!?!)

Grandma Marie came to visit the week before Christmas. We went shopping, ate too much, opened/shared gifts and had a nice visit. Thanks for coming!
We also had a nice visit from my brother, Uncle Terry. His wife wasn’t able to come with him but she did send some yummy desserts! Thanks, Aunt Kit!
On Christmas Eve, Husband went to McKinney to pick up Mom. The weather was really cold and we were expecting some ice/freezing rain. So, she stayed with us that night. Eli didn’t know what to do! He isn’t used to Grandma being at our house when it’s time for ‘night ‘night!

We woke in the morning to find snow – but not very much! It was gone before lunch but we were glad to already have Mom at our house for the festivities.

I had made her a new stocking this year. She was surprised to see it and even took it back to her house! My intention was for it to stay at our house so Santa could fill it if she’s at our house…
Husband did all the cooking for us this year. On the menu included lots of yummy NEW recipes from The Food Network kitchens! Definitely some good one and at least one BUMMER!
We took Mom home on Christmas evening. We missed Gram and Daddy but we did the best we could. Even without them, we are blessed beyond measure!

I had made her a new stocking this year. She was surprised to see it and even took it back to her house! My intention was for it to stay at our house so Santa could fill it if she’s at our house...

Husband did all the cooking for us this year. On the menu included lots of yummy NEW recipes from The Food Network kitchens! Definitely some good one and at least one BUMMER!
We took Mom home on Christmas evening. We missed Gram and Daddy but we did the best we could. Even without them, we are blessed beyond measure!

Party

Mom hosted part of the neighborhood progressive dinner party this year.  She (and I) and a decorator friend and assorted friends/neighbors, helped decorate her house for the big event.

My husband made his 'world famous' chili stew and other neighbor/friends brought chili and the other ingredients:  cheese, crackers, sour cream, etc.

I think Mom saidd there were approximately 60 people in the house at one time!  Wow!

Everyone enjoyed the party at Mom's and then moved down the street for dessert.

#91

Today would have been my grandmother's 91st birthday. We celebrated several birthdays together over the years and last year was pretty memorable.  We had a party for her to celebrate #90. She was so cute and happy that day.  I mean, really, she was always pretty cute.  She doted on us and made sure we had mail every week.  She was famous for sending us cards for the 'Hallmark Holidays' that were made up in addition to all the other ones like Halloween, Valentines, St. Patricks, etc.  She also always had a selection of jewelry perfect for any occasion and she enjoyed wearing her makeup and lipstick.  (You don't sell Avon for 50 years if you don't like jewelry and makeup, right?)

Last March, my parents took her home to Missouri for a few days.  Turns out, that was the last time she was able to go home before her final trip/funeral.  I'm so glad my parents took the time to take her.  She was able to have a nice visit with her brother/sister-in-law, her sister and other cousins and friends.  Another word to describe my Gram is feisty.  There was some trouble with the heater at her house while they were visiting and she put up such a fuss that my parents relented and they all slept in the freezing house!  (It was near 60 inside, I think, which is way too cold for a 90 year old and my parents but she got her way.  I guess that's something else she learned from my Gramps?)

Eli loved tasting the cake and playing with the balloons.  Of course, he liked to play with Grandma's walker, too! 

Another birthday

This time, it's mine! I had a good day today. You can read the big post at my other blog: (see the link to Eli's blog over on the right or go here: www.eli-eli-oh.blogspot.com since the link isn't working) but I just wanted to say that today was a day that I really missed my Dad. (duh, right?) He was such an integral part of my life that it's hard to celebrate special days without him and any day, really. (of course!)

KVIL

KVIL was a radio station that Dad listened to in his stores. He always tried to make the store environment welcoming to the customers.

Sometimes, I hear a song on the radio and it immediately makes me think of Daddy. That's not a bad thing but it's kinda funny. Daddy used to sing to us but you wouldn't necessarily hear a song he was singing on the radio.

This week, I heard this and it made me think of Daddy and smile:



After typing that you wouldn't hear a song Daddy would sing on the radio, I thought I would check and see if there was one on You Tube and found this one:

Book dedications

** ALSO posted at Eli's blog - www.eli-eli.oh.blogspot.com

Since I changed school districts, I've had the opportunity to dedicate books in memory of loved ones to the school library. Through the loss of some friends and relatives, there are now several books bearing their names in the regular circulation at school. The hope is that a book is chosen that bears some part of the person now gone.

This year, we've lost my Grandma, my Uncle Leo, my Dad, and also my Aunt Vivian. I have chosen a book for everyone but Aunt Vivian. I hope to do that in January so there will be a book bearing her name, too.

For my Grandma, I chose a book about a Grandmother and her granddaughter - and their quilt. It is called The Patchwork Quilt by Valerie Flournoy. Here's a brief summary: Tanya's grandmother had begun to make a patchwork quilt using scraps from old shirts, Halloween costumes, and any other materials that had meaning to them. Tanya was so interested in how her grandmother so carefully cut pieces of material and sewed them together so she spent much of her time watching and helping her grandmother produce this "masterpiece." On Christmas morning, Grandma becomes sick and is no longer able to work on finishing the quilt. With the help of her mother, Tanya takes it upon herself to help finish the quilt for her grandmother. Finally, when Grandma is able to begin working on the quilt again, she finishes it by stitching on the last square, which reads, "For Tanya From your Mama and Grandma."

For my Uncle Leo, I chose a book about a joking rabbit called
bad hare day by Miriam Moss. Uncle Leo always had a great story or anecdote to share and this story reminds me of something he would tell.

For my Dad, I chose a book called If You Listen by Charlotte Zolotow. It is a story for children who have suffered the loss of a parent or someone they love through distance, divorce or death. The little girl's father had been gone for a long time. She asks her mother how you know if someone far away is loving you. "You have to listen inside yourself," her mother said, "just the way you strain to hear the dog barking in the hills, or the rustle of birds in the leaves of the trees. If you listen hard you'll feel someone far away sending love to you."

Recently, I've also enjoyed a book called Tear Soup by Pat Sweibert and Chuck DeKlyen. The story is about "Grandy," but she could just as easily be me or you, and Grandy has suffered a loss, so Grandy begins to make tear soup. Tear soup cannot be made just out of a can, but is an individual process, as unique as each chef; and only through the soup making can we fully heal and move on. Since receiving this book myself, I've bought several copies to share. It is a beautiful story and has beautiful illustrations.

I'm hoping these tributes will be meaningful as time passes. Blessings to you!

Holes in the Floor of Heaven

I've had an obsession with Steve Wariner since I was in college. He sings a song about a "Plano Texas Girl" and it got to be a joke that he was singing about me...NOT!

Anyway, this song of his has always spoken to me. Now, after losing Daddy and Gram, it plays in my head on rainy days sometimes.

Thanksgiving

In anticipating this holiday, and a whole week off work, I began to worry. Not in the sense that something would go wrong but in the sense of dread. Something horrible is coming...

We made 'alternate plans' for the holiday so it wouldn't be so obvious that we're missing Daddy and Grandma. The new plans included my Husband taking over ALL the cooking and moving the lunch celebration to our house.

Mom and I gave Husband a hard time for changing all the recipes, too. He didn't want to make "all the same stuff" that we always make. So, he chose new recipes from the Food Netork after lots of reading and researching online. He made:

Good Eats Roast Turkey

Sage, Sausage and Apple Dressing

Mashed Potatoes (with heavy cream!!! what?!?!?!)

Gina's Turnip Greens (ewwww!!!)

Rich Chocolate Pecan Pie

Turns out, all the items were awesome. Well, not the turnip greens. They smelled good but didn't taste as well as they smelled. And, there was an issue with the pecan pie. Husband didn't like the one that Eli and I made ("Looks burned," he said.) so he made another one - that "Looks burned," I said. Tasted the same, regardless.

Of course, I made pumpkin pies from real pumpkins and not puree'. Yummy! Eli even helped with some of the prep!! Good boy!

My brother showed up just before lunch and got to play with Eli a bit. Kit chose to stay with her sister at the lake but did send a neat bread cornucopia and jalepeno cornbread muffins.

All in all, it was a nice day. We missed Daddy and Grandma (and Kit, too) but this is our 'new normal.' As time passes, we are continuing to be more and more like Humpty Dumpty and putting ourselves back together again in a different, less welcome, way.

Uncle Terry was able to read books to Eli at night-time, to experience the towel cape after bath and get lots of love from (especially) the nephew! It was great to see!

Friday afternoon, on Terry's way back to the lake, we went to visit Daddy's grave. The cemetary is beautiful but it's just so far from us. We just can't get there on a regular basis. I find myself talking to Daddy when I'm sewing, giving Eli a bath or doing laundry. It's easier to talk to him wherever I am rather than going to the cemetary - nevermind that he isn't there. He's got a front row seat of all that's going on. I miss being able to call him with questions about anything and everything, telling him the latest funny thing that Eli has done, etc.

The dreaded event in my head didn't occur. It was just another event that the anticipation of being 'without' wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...does that make sense? Not that I miss Daddy or Grandma less, just that it was different than I thought it would be?
Happy Thanksgiving, ya'll!

Another birthday

My husband's birthday was on November 15th. We celebrated with lunch at Olive Garden. Mom, Eli, Husband and I were there. It was a small but fun celebration. Eli kept us all 'on our toes!' There was an obvious absence of Daddy and Gram this year, though.

Our neighbor made a 'from scratch' carrot cake with homemade cream cheese icing for Husband. It was so yummy and very much appreciated.

As we were enjoying it, I could imagine Daddy saying, "Where'd they get the scratch?" HAHA